Just when Jacoby Jones thought he had the greatest “NFL Headline of the Year“, another NFL player has risen up to challenge him for that distinction. It’s only week 4, and there is still so much football left to go, but man, these are going to be hard to beat. Jones’ party bus stripper brawl was pretty amazing, but now it’s time to focus on another great athlete who has just the right amount of knucklehead in him.
Detroit Lions WR Nate Burleson
(show here, with Robocop because…Detroit)
Unlike Jones, who has been injured all season, Burleson WAS healthy before the incident. He was the Lions leading receiver after 3 games, but now will probably miss the remainder of the 2013 season. So what happened?
Via Deadspin:
“Nate Burleson Crashes SUV, Breaks Arm Trying To Rescue Pizza”
You know what, take a brief moment out of your life and read that headline again. I’ll wait…
….
AMAZING! Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad for the guy, but those words in that combination is just… poetry. Keats, on his best day couldn’t match how strange and beautiful that arrangement of letters is.
In case you are too lazy to read the article on it, here are the cliff notes:
- Nate Burleson was driving, no alcohol involved (which is shocking when it comes to NFL vehicular crime news)
- One or two pizzas started to fall off the front seat.
- He reached out to save them, as I think we all would.
- He lost control of his SUV and crashed into a median, breaking his arm.
- The football gods laugh at the people of Detroit.
(The world needs to know if it was a Papa Johns pizza. NEEDS TO!)
So next time you have your pizza delivered to you, just remember to give the driver a HUGE tip. The guy put his life (and his possible football career) on the line to drive that pizza over to you. Give him the proper respect.
Oh, and just because we’re talking pizza and the “Breaking Bad” finale airs this Sunday. Enjoy this on your way out:
You can follow j.”Messier Was Better Than Linden” Bowman on twitter (@jBowmancouver). He will be getting pizza tonight, but will be picking it up on his bicycle. He loves danger.
